..25..

"punta tayo ng ek sa christmas.. para magkasama tayo sa monthsary natin.
weeks passed
"december 20 alis namin papuntang singapore eh"
"panu yan? edi hndi na naman tayo magkasama"
"tatawagan na lang kita sa christmas.."
"gusto ko araw araw kang tatawag.."
"sige, itatry ko.."

Those lines were broken.
None of it will happen.
It's supposed to be our 7th montsary this Christmas.
Months before, we made a plan for this 2 events.

december 25--the most awaited event of the year. It is indeed the most wonderful time of the year. My Christmas this year is far different from all the Christmas that I had. Why? simply because I feel so incomplete. I feel so alone. I'm totally lost. It isn't just because of Mark but because of all the people around me--my family, friends and other people around. I'm ALONE. (not physically alone)

I don't know what's happening to me. My life is a mess. I feel like everyone thinks that I can't understand anything, that I can't do anything right. This has been the most crucial part of my life--losing the most important person in my life, my bestfriend and having rejected by many people including my family.
Now tell me, how can you have a merry christmas with this situation?