It's OVER

i wrote this blog on OCTOBER 25 on my friendster blog.

"It's our monthsary today and we broke up."

We had an argument this morning; it's about our time together. We we're lacking of time because of so many activities in school. I shouted and cry at him during recess time. I know it was so embarrassing for the two of us but I can't control myself. I know I was wrong about that. I even said so many things without thinking twice that would really hurt him. I shouldn't say all those words. After recess, I broke up with him. He asked me if that was what I really want, I didn't answer him but in my mind and heart I really want to continue with our relationship. I THOUGHT he wouldn't let it happen, but then at lunch time HE DID. When I got home at lunch I called him on the phone, I asked why he didn't wait for me. He said "bakit?" then I said "anung bakit?" then he said "bakit pa..e dba break na.." I cried over the phone, I pleaded him to give me one last chance. But he wouldn't. At that moment my mind was a blur. It's like my world has crashed down. I felt like dying. IT WAS PAINFUL. I put down the phone then I pack all my things and I went straight to his house without having lunch. Unluckily the jeep change his route so I have to went down and walk to his house. At that time it was raining and the way to his house is flooded. As a result I ended up walking in the flood. When I got there his mother let me borrowed his ate's socks and shoes but the shoes would not fit so they let me borrow his lola's shoes. We ride in a pedicab and we talked. I cried at him, I pleaded him all over again. My mouth would not stop on uttering the words "cge na..pls.." At this point in time, I didn't only lower my pride instead I had no pride at all. I didn't stop apologizing and pleading to him until science time. I asked him "anu bang gagawin ko para pumayag ka?" he said "wala, pakawalan mo na lang ako" I asked him the same question over again "bakit? hindi mo na ba ko mahal?" then he would always reply "hindi na" [it was the most painful words that i heard] I told him to look at me and repeat what he said and he did. He look at me straight to the eyes and said "hindi na talaga" I told him "sbe mo nun na kht magbreak hndi nmn mwwla yng love m skn" then he said "yng love, as a friend" then after our long conversation, I stopped. I had no choice but to let this happen. It was just so sad that we ended up like this. At PE time he didn't leave me. I asked for a favor. I asked him if he could be my boyfriend until this day only and tomorrow he will no longer be mine. He immediately agreed without thinking twice. He went to my house in the evening to give me back my shoes which I left at his house. He didn't stay long 'coz it a little late. Before he leave, we kissed and hug each other. IT WAS PAINFUL. I wanted to cry but he told me earlier not to. Then he left me with the words "I LOVE YOU.."

I never thought that it would end up like this. He’s my best friend even before we enter this relationship; it’s hard to bring back the friendship.
I don't know how long these heartaches would last but I will never stop waiting for him to come back.